Dear Fran,
I have this absurd protrusion growing out of my forehead. It is shaped like a turnip and grows about one cm per day. After checking with my family doctor, I discovered that he also has one growing, but he didn't realize it until I told him. What should we do? He is too embarrassed to visit another physician, and frankly, so am I now.

Signed: Bumpy and Lumpy

Dear Bump & Lump,
I am so relieved you contacted me! I am actually familiar with this disorder. It is a little known condition indigenous to a few remote locations. However, you may be relieved to know it is actually considered a highly desirable trait on some isolated islands. It is completely harmless with one exception. Some natives from the above mentioned islands feel these protrusions produce a unique substance. Therefore, making them highly prized and unfortunately illegally harvested! You and your doctor should be careful when making travel plans!

Fran Slanders