Dear Fran,
I have a relative who has instigated a nasty war on me with untruths about my past. She has presently been sharing this absolute crud with other relatives. My biggest problem is that I live overseas from all of my family and I cannot be there to defend myself. What would you do?
P.S. A letter is a thought, but how to make it effective?
Lost Overseas

Dear Lost,

I have been looking into your problem and feel outraged at your plight! It's obvious to me this relative needs to be dealt with immediately. Perhaps one of those generic letters telling 'All the News' people seem so fond of these days is just the thing. I believe an invitation to the entire family and any strangers you would care to include should be extended in the name of the 'Crud Sharer'. All family should be assured she will provide for their room and board, etc. Perhaps the party should be 'Please come and celebrate my new weight loss program'!
Fran Slanders