Dear Fran,
I was looking for something about Fran Lebowitz, and your name came up , and with it, a flood of repressed childhood memories involving cold tomatoe soup and not enough "quality time." I'm verklempt!" What do I do now?!?!
Signed: Awash In A Sea Of Pain

Dear Awashed,

The first thing you need to do is give cold tomato soup a wide berth! Personally, I think quality time is highly over rated. I believe we owe it to our family and friends to supply them with ample material for their psychotherapy sessions! So please, in the future, 'embrace' your repressed memories and share them with as many people as possible. In fact, if you don't receive the expected and certainly your fair share of sympathy, I recommend embellishing your memories until you receive all you are due!
Fran Slanders