Dear Fran,

My new boss is butt ugly and fatter than the Goodyear Blimp. She is also a know it all and thinks that no one but her has anything of value to say. I get the feeling that she hates me because I bathe, comb my hair, and dress well before I go to work. I have an IQ of 148 so I am not the dumb blonde that she wants to dismiss me as. How can I cause her to get over herself and get real?
Signed: IQ Bigger Than Boobs

Dear IQ

It is a burden to be perfect. You will find it engenders jealousy from the weak-minded. Since she seems to know it all and likes to share her opinions, I would suggest referring one and all to her for answers. In fact, why not set her office number up as the company hotline? That should keep her busy for a while. If that doesn’t work, you can always contact Goodyear. They are always ready to advertise.
Fran Slanders